In a small but signicant step, Team Mitt has put healthcare policy to practice, opening its first store for GOP approved health products. I had to go early this morning for a shot without teeming hordes, but I managed to browse yesterday. Some of the big sellers were
The Bible: GOP approved, expurgated version. All the hate, none of the love or kindness.
Mittamorphoil – An essential oil derived from newly minted money marinated in tears. It is good for all that ails you because it changes to whatever you want it to be. Makes a nice hair-tonic. May cause memory loss.
Maximum Rush – Male enhancement gel caps. 100% snake-in-the-grass hand ground in elephant tusk mortars by underage but authentic Americans in the U-S-A using femurs of albino rhinos. Two of these will ensure you enjoy the ‘entertainment’ when you are on an ‘exploratory trip’ to some podunk country. You won’t be able to see the results because you haven’t seen your penis in decades, but trust us, this stuff will make you as stiff as Arpaio’s baton.
GOP Greens - Be Green, eat the 99% literally.