With more than 1.15 million followers on Twitter, it is clear that Yoko Ono is the single most important artist in the history of mankind.
Luckily, following in the footsteps of Ashton Kutcher, Kanye West, and some of the other philosopher kings of our time, Ms. Ono has allowed us to witness her genius, to absorb it and blend it into our souls in chunks of 140-character illumination.
It would be far too easy for a researcher lazier than I to hold her Twitterata up for ridicule. Sure, her wisdom may scrape the underside of the fortune cookie barrel (“The blind leading the blind, as they say. We are all blind.”). Yes, her personal updates leave more than a little room for flummoxing bewilderment (“my eyes get wet every morning reading the papers. They have no time to get dry.”). But people have been attacking Yoko in articles for 45 years, maybe longer.
I prefer to look on the optimistic side, to interpret her Tweets as the words of some great oracle – like that kindly old black lady in the Matrix movies. “Smile to the future and it will smile back to you.” Of course it will, Yoko.
“Let’s report to the Universe how glad we are that our planet is part of such a beautiful constellation.” I’m not aware of what constellation would include a planet, or from which perspective in deep space one would have to view this constellation, but… okay.
“Make footprints with your feet and hang them on your wall as a portrait of a traveling companion.” Well, at least she’s right about the easiest way to make footprints.
And more on feet: “Your feet are your physical connection to this planet. Give attention to your feet. Clean, brush and massage them.” Now she’s getting into personal hygiene. Yoko rocks!
Yoko asks the big questions that science needs to hurry up and answer. “Were Adam and Eve outcasts from another planet?” “Is the human race in its embryonic stage or on its deathbed?” “Is reality always more real than what we create?”
“Give love to things around you so they can breathe.” It’s that kind of thinking that can get you kicked out of a bowling alley. “Touch each other and make it well.” Ditto.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, Earth. I love you, I love you, I love you now.”
“The gallery space returned to peace when I wrapped a bunch of celeries instead.”
“Real blood smells of an ocean. Ketchup smells of commerce.”
“Someday, I would like to see all my works become wish pieces, as I cannot think of a nice way to intercept life.”
Her wisdom is truly boundless and eternal; I encourage everyone to take a moment to add Yoko to your twitter feed.